I’ve always believed that the best nights in Melbourne start with a bit of mystery and usually end with a glass of something sparkling, so when I heard that a slice of Paris had secretly taken up residence at Crown, I knew I had to investigate. Slipping inside Piper’s Playhouse at Crown felt less like walking into a bar and more like stumbling into a red-hued club where the only rules are you need a glass of bubbles at all times. The air was thick with smoky jazz melodies from the live band, and the kind of electric anticipation that only exists when you’re about to see something truly daring.
The night was presided over by the incomparable Jimi the Kween, whose sharp wit and glittering presence set the tone for an evening that was equal parts glamorous and delightfully wicked. The lineup of talent was a literal who’s who of the Australian cabaret and burlesque world, headlined by the reigning Miss Burlesque Australia, Diesel Darling, who commanded the room with a confidence that left us all a little breathless. Their fire performance was one of our highlights of the night. Between the soaring vocals of Jimi the Kween and the live band, we were treated to a parade of sword-swallowing sirens and world-class circus artistes who seemed to defy the laws of physics right in front of our eyes.
What I loved most was the way the room invited you to get lost in its hidden corners; on entry we were invited into the confessional to write down some secrets, a bubble artist created a wall of glittering bubbles, then our Piper-Heidsieck champagne was handed to us through a red velvet curtain by a friendly bear. Later on we were completely baffled by a close-up illusionist who appeared at our table. This is all before the main acts even begin! As the show takes place on a revolving central stage, every table is a good table.
As the night goes on, the space transforms into this sultry, late-night piano bar that feels like a cross between a gritty Vegas lounge and Paris at dawn. It’s the kind of place where secrets are whispered over piano keys and “one last drink” inevitably turns into three. Here you can request your best singalong songs to be played by the excellent piano man and belt out a tune or two with the whole room singing.
By the time I finally emerged back into the reality of Southbank, I felt like I’d been away for a week in another decade entirely. There is something so deliciously refreshing about a venue that encourages you to indulge your every impulse and embrace the beautifully unexpected. If you’re looking for a night that’s a little bit edgy and a whole lot of fun, I suggest you follow the allure of the Playhouse before the secrets are all out. It’s official: my standard weekend night routine has some very serious competition.
Piper’s Playhouse is open now at Crown Melbourne. Get tickets here.
The venue is accessible.
