An evening with Alain de Botton on Love is always something that entertains, but who knew it would crush all your realities about romantic love? Presented by the School of Life at Melbourne Town Hall on 12 July 2016, let me say straight away this was a great evening with a lot of laughs. De Botton is a great master who can delve into serious topics that touch so many people.
De Botton made us chuckle about that terrible trick 18th century romanticists played on us. While swooning in swanky bohemian cafés they came up with the notion we should only marry for love. You know, that one special person who can read our minds, love all our annoying habits, and never mentions the washing. Yes, them. But we quickly question that notion of love when they fail to do the washing two days in a row.
So we know what love isn’t – but do we know what love is? De Botton teasingly suggests that true love is about teaching and learning from our partners with an open mind. Yes, because the last time I was in an argument with a loved one all I could think of is thank you for trying to ‘educate’ me on how to wash up.
De Botton’s had numerous tips for modern love:
- Admit that you are crazy and broken and also recognise so is everyone else
- Get out the mindset that there is only ‘one’ person for you – there are many
- Be a great teacher but also a willing student
- Arguments are okay
De Botton recited so many pearls of wisdom throughout the night, but my favourite was: ‘When you recognise that choosing a partner is always going to mean choosing a delightful person to please you in some ways, it’s also going to mean choosing a person who’s going to make you suffer.’
So my online dating profile should say: ‘Looking for someone who can make me laugh and suffer’.
– Angela
Angela the lover of love and all things life.
Get your hands on a copy of Alain de Botton’s latest book, The Course of Love, before you make that date.
The School of Life Australia (669 Bourke St, Melbourne) has a jam-packed calendar of more events to make you think, plus a cafe in which to read de Botton’s writing.
